So here I am sitting on my couch, sick as a dog and blogging my heart out.  Why is it sickness or boredom seems to bring out the talky in us all?

I have been rather introspective lately.  I haven’t felt much like hanging with people or talking to anyone… it’s my MO sometimes.  I withdraw inside when I need to.  At first I thought it was weird.  So many people around me seem to be social butterflies and thrive on interaction.  Me… eh… not so much.  I like people… don’t get me wrong.  But sometimes… people wear me out.  I have a tendency to take too much into myself.

Now though, I recognize that this is part of who I am and there’s comfort in my ways.  Temporary alone-ness  is where I find my peace of mind and of course, where I mull over life’s little idiosyncrasies.  I have yet to come up with a solution for world peace or to end hunger (still working on that)… but in regards to my own life… i’ve come up with a lot.

I have spent this past year doing a few things for the last time (or for what I hope will be the last time).  I had my last pregnancy and my last job as a secretary.

Then there were some firsts…  I started a web hosting / web design company, became a stay-at-home mom, and sent my oldest off to preschool.

The path that I am on now is not the path I started down originally oh-so-long ago.  So many things changed along the way.  I changed.  Evolving is usually a good thing… but sometimes it is a sad thing too.  You begin to recognize what works, what makes you happy and feel fulfilled and what doesn’t work and doesn’t make you feel happy.  The things that don’t make you feel fulfilled get left behind and there’s a certain air of sadness in that because there was a need at the time and there’s comfort in that need.  Now that the need has changed, the comfort is gone.

There was a post I made recently about being productive in life.  That’s what happened to me this year.  I decided I wanted to be productive, happy and motivated to change my life and help change the lives of others.

The whole idea of changing your life and becoming someone you want to be or meant to be is so empowering.  Why just exist?  A good friend taught me that to just “exist” is a waste of time and energy that could be used for good things.  So that’s where I am at.

In the end, my goal is to be able to successfully take care of my family and to be the best person I can be.  Life is way too short not to take a chance on yourself and make stuff happen, you know?  Plus, why battle with your conscience when you don’t have to?  I think it takes more effort to be a crappy person than to be a good one.  But maybe that’s just me… *shrugs*

So what was your year like?