I recognize that not all relationships are easy. I even realize that there are other reasons for getting married that have nothing to do with love ( one ex of mine ended up in an arranged marriage.). I am empathetic enough to know that there are valid reasons for giving up or breaking away from a bad marriage.
But what makes a failed marriage? A failed marriage in my opinion is one that has all of the makings of something that will last forever. But in the end, for whatever reason (not including abuse or other unhealthy habits that would otherwise categorize a bad marriage), the marriage fails.
I wonder this because a couple of years ago, husb crossed a line. In that one moment I looked at him and did not recognize the man I love. I looked at him and felt like I lost a little something. Of course, the moment passed and i’m back to where I was before with my feelings… but that one moment had me feeling a little scared. And as much as i’ve tried to deal with it, I realize that there is no resolution. It happened and it cannot be taken back.
How do you cope with the tiny cracks that break in your relationship? Do you deal with them and then move on? Do you avoid until you inevitably have to talk about it? Do you blow up?
Even if you think your marriage is made of solid stone, it’s possible for a hairline fracture… right?
I got divorced. He crossed a line one too many times, he didn’t cheat but I had ignored little things about him when I first met him because I fell in love with him. We were simply not compatible as husband and wife. We still love each other, we are still good friends, in fact we are going away for the weekend today, but we don’t work well together as a couple.
Jens last blog post..We Have a New Blankie
See? That makes complete sense to me. It is understandable to me that a couple can recognize that they don’t fit together as husband and wife. Sometimes, that is the kind of thing we can’t possibly know until we get married.