I FINALLY have a C-section date!  Woot!  Monday, June 30th!  How cool is that?  The fact that reality inches closer and baby Brody’s arrival within a week makes me extremely ecstatic!  I feel like i’m floating on cloud 9!

My week has been rather good.  We didn’t do a whole heck of a lot other than more baby prep, finishing up my final project for school (which I got an A on!) and spending as much snuggle time/ 1 on 1 as I can with the kids!

On Saturday, my amazing friends threw me the best darn babyshower ever!  Seriously… when one of the prizes is an aqua bra and the other is a squishy bag of fun that looks like a penis, and you laugh so hard that you cry… you know it’s a good one!  Thanks guys!  I love you all so much!  I had a rockin’ good time!  Jodi, I think we’ll need to wear our bras at the next porch party!

Today was both good and not-so-good.  It was relaxing to say the least. I sorted through baby clothes and tomorrow will wash and put them away.  Things seem to be going together nicely so far (with the preparation) and that’s awesome!  It was a little dreary and cooler today so we (husb and I) decided it would be nice to take a family nap!  We all took a 3 hour nap and felt refreshed afterward!

Husb and I are talking about experiencing some Chicago travel later on this summer. I want to visit IKEA and take the kids to the museum of science!

And finally…

This evening, I logged onto myspace and got a message from one of my best friends from high school.  She has recently been diagnosed with bone cancer and has a 40% survival rate according to her doctor.  She has 2 small children at home (ages 4 and 1).  She is not a religious person persay, but is asking for a lot of prayers.  So please, if you read this… pray for her.  She is a good person and deserves to see her children grow up!

Now that the baby is almost here, I have really been thinking toward the future, especially in regards to my body image and weight.  Post baby weight is hard to lose on it’s own.  Imagine trying to lose post-post-post baby weight!

Admittedly, it is a little scary to think about and maybe just a bit overwhelming.  However, I feel really ready to get my body back and create a better self-image.

I have been tracking commercials about the list of best diet pills for awhile now. I am not really sure if I would go there right away but I have heard some positive things about certain weight loss products on the market!

I have always felt (and maybe it is just me) that we moms lose a certain part of ourselves with every pregnancy.  Mostly because being a mom whether it be to one or more changes everything for us!  I mean really, did you ever think you would care so much about another human being’s bowl movements?  Being a mom means not getting super grossed out when you share a drink with your child even though you know there’s going to be AT LEAST a small amount of backwash.

In any case, I love that i’m a mom.  I love that mom and wife are major parts of my identity now.  However, there’s another part of me that I am trying to connect with.

Does that make sense?

There is a certain charm to remaining anonymous.  Anonymity allows one to speak their mind, knowing that no one they know will be around to judge their every move.  Anonymity allows for a person to truly feel like a mess inside and not have to apologize or pretend that everything is okay on the outside.

It is about “free therapy”.  You know, the kind where you can just lay it out on the table and not care.  The kind where people don’t try to sympathize with you.  Because you know if they sympathize you might just give in to the sympathy and allow yourself to wallow for awhile.  Wallowing is never good.  Especially when you are pretending to be happy.  Because pretending to be happy means that there is a chance you could grab just a small amount of it and treasure it; even if only for a little while.

For every moment that I think of depression, I think…. “Happy are we who are called to his supper.”  Is that God’s way of calling me to his supper?  Is he telling me that the darkness within will only engulf me if I dismiss the invite?  Isn’t it strange that whenever i’m going to give in to the darkness I have that to fall back on?

Whenever I think of depression and type it out so boldly for all to see,  I think… “my God.  This blog has happy colors!  Perhaps, I need to start looking for something in a nice shade of black…”

I have been watching Dr. Phil quite a bit lately.  His Thursday show was about over controlling parents who they strive to raise the perfect child.  These parents set their standards high and accept nothing less than excellence.  In other words, they try to have a “do-over” adolescence by living vicariously through their children.

On the plus side, the parents were extremely involved in their children’s lives.  You could tell that they cared very deeply.  Not to mention, the kids seemed to be well-adjusted individuals.

On the downside, there was an underlying resentment on the child’s part toward their parents (mainly mothers).  The children were afraid to make decisions because they were afraid to make a mistake.  They would also lash out at their parents for interfering so much in thier lives.  Everything from friends to colleges were hand-picked for them.

As a parent, I believe that we should accept our children for who they are and encourage them to be the best they can be.  I do believe in setting the bar high because if you don’t give your kids something to reach for, then they will do the bare minimum.  I don’t believe in berating a child because they are mediocre in a certain area.  It’s up to us as parents to guide our children, to give them the tools they need to be able to find their niche.

To some degree, we all have a certain amount of regret in life.  There are certain choices we wish we had made differently.  We cannot stop our children from making mistakes as it is inevitable.  What we can do is help give them the strength they need to pick themselves up and make better choices for the future.  We can show them that one mistake (or 10) does not have to dictate the rest of their lives.  They need to know that they CAN do better, that they CAN find the strength to move on and to create a good life.

In my small world, I have never met a parent that placed unrealistic expectations on their children.  Nor have I met a parent who tried to re-live adolescence vicariously through their children.  (like who knew?)

Have you ever met a parent who considered their child perfect?  I mean, we all think our children are special and wonderful…. but do any of you think of your child as perfect?

As i’m getting ready to color eggs and fill my children’s baskets with all kinds of spring time goodies, I am reminded what it is we celebrate tomorrow morning.  We are celebrating Christ’s death.  He died to save us.  He gave us the greatest gift anyone could give.  A gift that we can help give to others, through him.  The gift of everlasting life.  The gift of the knowledge of Christ’s love for us.

So, do me a favor (any of you who might read this), spread the love tomorrow morning.  Though it is not Christmas, peace and goodwill toward men should be granted.  An amazing gift has been bestowed on us all.

While I will tell my kids wonderful tales of the little furry bunny who hides eggs and leaves baskets heaping with sugary goodness and a trinket or two, I am also going to tell them about the other gift they have received.  One that far surpasses anything they might get in the basket.

Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Peace be with you all and may you all have a glorious Easter!

I had originally considered using our tax return money on purchasing new fitness equipment. However, after crunching a few numbers, D and I have decided the money will be best put forth to paying off our debt. I recently called our debt management place (which, by the way is called Money Management. They are fantastic!) and asked them what their procedures are for paying off debt early. Apparently, they will call our credit card companies to get settlement balances. Then, they will let us know of the balances and of how/where to send the money.

As kudos to us, they said that D and I are doing a fantastic job paying off our debt. We are good clients! YAY us!

I love paying off debt! It feels like a huge relief when a rather large bill is paid off!

Have you joined a debt management program? Do you like the program you are in? If you haven’t, why?

In a small way, I feel like I understand Britney Spears. Okay, before you slap the crazy stick on me, hear me out.

It isn’t easy being a mother under normal circumstances. We have to be everything to everyone. We love our role in life but at the end of the day we are just plain exhausted and no amount of caffeine can rejuvenate us. We are under the microscope of our own mothers and those who have come before us. We hear helpful child raising tips that sometimes go in one ear and out the other. I think all women crave to do this on their own. We are all territorial to a point and would have no one else fill our shoes for us. As spent as we are, we enjoy it. (oh just admit it, you love it!)

Now, imagine being extremely famous (okay a stretch for most of us I know… ) and having the camera mark your every move. The cameras that follow you, know where you eat, sleep and even sometimes know when you pass gas. They catch your best moments (perfect hair, makeup and posture) and your worst moments (hair thrown up in a bun, no makeup and you are wearing…egads!… sweatpants!).

Finally, imagine being Britney Spears. You are being scrutinized for everything… from your clothes, to your weight, your love life and even your parenting. You have reporters asking you all kinds of personal and private questions from every angle. You like entertaining and feel that the artistic part of you should be and is always open to the public. On the other hand, your private life should remain private. When it isn’t…. well maybe you start to resent the limelight you’ve always grown up in and that throws you in a tailspin of rebellion.

When Britney lost custody of her sons, I cannot imagine that it was a happy day for her. Her behavior has been erratic, I agree. However, do any of you wonder if there is a deeper problem plaguing her? I had heard recently that she is being diagnosed or was being diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. I hope that she gets the help she needs and regains custody of her sons. I can also see her battling PPD at the same time. Imagine doing that in the face of all of the cameras and America!

I guess what I am trying to say (and used Britney as an example) is that sometimes, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of others before immediately throwing stones. I agree that we need to have bold lines between right and wrong but I also think we need to have empathy, compassion and understanding toward our fellow man. Once we lose the empathy and compassion, how can we define what is right and what is wrong if we have lost part of the very foundation that makes us humans? Flesh is weak but our spirits are able to guide us with our conscience. This is the same spirit that allows us to love deeply. Christ had that spirit. It poured out of him.

Just something to think about on a Monday night…