This weekend I learned the value of privacy and distance. Recently, there has been underlying tension in this household. Unfortunately, I didn’t know where it was coming from and neither did my husband. Obviously (except to the two of us), there were things we needed to talk about. We were getting information from a single source (who shall remain unnamed). This single source complained about me to my hubby and then of course told me everything my hubby said. The source maintains that it wants to be completely out of the situation and not get involved, yet there is some major instigation going on.
The sad part is, I know that this was not meant to be hurtful on either side. I think the source was trying to “get along” rather than make trouble. Though the end result was trouble because my husband and I were hearing things from someone else other than eachother and of course, getting mad at eachother for the things we were hearing.
In the end, we realized that it wasn’t the source’s fault (well not directly… though he should stay out of our business), but more or less our fault for not talking to eachother.
It reminds me of exactly WHY I like to keep a distance from family. In distance I mean miles or kilometers rather than emotional distance. Family, can be awesome and generally are awesome, UNTIL they start digging into your affairs or start to feel like they have the right to draw conclusions about your life and then proceed to tell you how to live your life. I realize that opinions are like assholes and everyone has one and they all stink equally, but seriously… sometimes people just need to keep their opinion to themselves. Especially if it doesn’t directly involve them.
Too often last year I gave others the power over me. Too often, I felt guilty and ashamed and depressed and allowed others to control that. This year, however, I have a stronger sense of self. The last year Kellie would have felt defeated about this situation and proceeded to let people walk all over her. This year Kellie is a much stronger woman. I shall not have this in my household and will accept responsibility for my part but will also gladly dole out responsibility where it needs to be. The situation will be addressed.
I have to say, that as much as I love the instigating “source”, I will be glad to see him get his own place. Only because then we will have our privacy to our lives. And dang it, privacy is good. Very good.
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