As I mentioned before, we have been house hunting.  To date, we have made 6 offers on homes.   4 of which did not turn out  (Two HUD homes –lost bid,  1 owner not willing to negotiate and a short sale not willing to go FHA) and two that we are waiting to hear back on.  We  have seen the inside of maybe 60 homes and have looked at over 100.  In this economy, you would think that we would have an easy time of finding a home and would be on our way to closing the deal on a house.  But, I think fate has other ideas.  Because almost every deal has fallen through or we were outbid.

Like a lot of first-time home buyers, we are racing to the finish line to be able to take advantage of the amazing tax-credit.  To say that I was frustrated I think I would be an understatement of my feelings.  I am devastatingly frustrated.  There… I said it.  After 4 offers turned down (or lost to higher bidders), you start to feel a little cynical and downtrodden on this whole “buying a house” business.  I have gone over in my head a thousand times what we did wrong.  Should we have sent pictures of our kids?  Heartfelt letters of intent?  Made the offers without a realtor?  In the end, I realize that there is no answer for it.  It is what it is –the official catch phrase for 2009.

Inside, I feel anxious and panic-stricken.  I want to be in a house by the holidays.  Not to mention, the owner of the house we are currently renting is itching to sell once and for all.  So perhaps, with all of this I feel a little under the gun.

I should feel blessed to have the opportunity to buy a home when so many others are losing theirs.  I should find some kind of blessing at my good fortune and heartfelt sorrow for the misfortune of others.  But in all honesty, I only feel panic.

School is starting back up for me this week.  I’m a little nervous about my Algebra class but am hoping to get through it without too much of  a problem.  I can bullshit my way through almost anything… things math related however, not so much.

O is enjoying school.  Kindergarten keeps him busy and occupies his mind Monday through Friday now.  He has made at least one friend and likes his teacher.  He is adjusting to his new schedule with the rapid ease of being a little kid.  The other two miss him so much while he is gone.  Soph is his little shadow when he comes home from school and Brody also begs to be included.  Although B has the misfortune of being the little brother so he is not included in much of what the other kids do.  He tries though…

It’s nearing the time to pick Owen up from school…

Until next time…

I am epically stressed right now.  So stressed in fact, that I woke up at 3:45 this morning and can’t get back to sleep.  So here I am, typing away my stress on the blog.  Or well, at least sharing the stress.

So, here’s the dilemma.  My husband and I have been house hunting for about a month now.  In that month we have seen about 20 houses.  We wrapped up our hunting today looking at properties that met our criteria.

At the beginning of the week, my husband and I spent 5 hours one night looking at all of the houses available in quite a few areas around the main city where we live.  We hand-picked these and double-checked location on all of them.

On Friday, I spoke with our Realtor who said that 10 out of 13 houses had been sold, were under contract or taken off the market.  This isn’t the first time in our hunt that we have come across this kind of thing.  Apparently, Realtors aren’t updating their listings in the online MLS database for this area as they should, which ends up in a lot of confusion on the buyer’s part.

So already, I felt deflated about hunting on Saturday.  Still, ever the optimist, I came back lifting my own spirits and thought… “Well, at least we have 3 homes to look at tomorrow.”

In my HGTV “voiceover” voice…

Home number 1 had a wonky back yard and painfully small bedrooms.

Home number 2 left us feeling like it had potential but needed us to re-do the wood floors and buy appliances.

Home number 3 was left in angry shambles from the previous owners and because the house is technically not foreclosed on yet, the home remains a mess (i.e. dirty diapers strewn about, moldy bread and expired mayo just to name a few of the things that were lying around in the cesspool).

So, we’re thinking of buying home number 2.  The thing is, i’m not even remotely excited about it.  I didn’t walk into the house and get the feeling like it was “the one”.  Plus, the kitchen is that narrowly small ranch-style home kitchen, the house itself needs a lot of sweat-equity work (cleanup, paint, wood floors sanded, kitchen re-done, etc.).  My husband is also take-it-or-leave-it on this one as well.  Is that a sign?

There is a house that I feel very strongly is “the one” but my husband doesn’t because it has a 1-stall garage and a small yard.  I should put it out of my mind but I constantly compare these other homes to it.

We don’t want to settle, but at the same time we’re hoping to find a home and move in by the holidays.  At this point, it seems pretty bleak that we will.  And all of this surrounding bleakness is putting a hole in my optimism.

And since we’ve been dedicating the last month and a half to the home search, I am at the point where I kind of want to take a breather.